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DowserMy dad is eager for the newgrowing season. Lastseason endedup all right despite the mini-drought whichparched the earth andcracked it into puzzle pieces. Well, somuch for the Farmers Almanac which predicted endlesstorrents. And so much forGod who ignored Dad's prayers forrain and let him buy adowsing rod andfind his water for himself."But it was Godwho told me to buy thatdowsing rod," Dadsaid, "so praise be toHim for our bumper crops." Allwinter I've been feeding the animals, fallenin love with them, given themnames out of a baby namebook. Dad showed me how to slaughtera pig, my pigkept screeching after Icut his throat, I criedall week.His name was Pete.Today Dad forced me to watch him skina goatcarcass so I would lose my horror at what being carnivorousis all about. We shouldn't thinkmeat appears magically allcleaned and dressed and shrink-wrapped in our supermarketfreezer. Be mindful that one of God'sdumb creatures gave hislife before arriving gril
PanegyricHardly anyone attended Pastor Gage'sfuneral today. His brother didn'teven go. But Iwent, just togloat.They chiseledRIP on the tombstone. I thought,rest and peace whereyou're going, Pastor?Ha.Good luck.Instead oftossing dirt on the casket I dropped arock.